Welcome to Cyniquentially, the personal (albeit fashion-leaning) blog of a girl named Cy. If you like this place, feel free to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

And also consequently, one of the best belated hand-made Christmas presents, ever.

Today was one of those I hate the world days. Only, rather than hating the world, I mostly couldn’t stand spending 7 hours of my life cooped up with a certain small population of those whom I share an age group with. And also all those teachers who assign useless time-filling projects that force me to work with a said population¹.

So while we’re spewing the anti-everybody toxins around, I’m just going to delve into a couple personality types that I want to smack in the face.  Some examples are more concrete than others.

6 Annoying Types of People

Warning and Disclaimer: I come across as very angry and almost menopausal in the following post. Please proceed with caution and fully prepared for what you are about to read.

The Giggle Gaggle

• She sits on the edge of her seat, phone always at ready in front of her. She’s constantly texting, and when not texting, she’s having a conversation in her own world with only the people directly beside her. Said conversation is probably about some other girl she really doesn’t like and so is relegated to the title of “slut.” The identity of the subject (eg. their name), however, is never mentioned. She giggles and smiles a lot, but someone really needs get her a, I dunno, brain? If a real one cannot be procured, then at least a plastic one.

It’s Just You and Me, Baby

• This is the person who walks into a room, takes a look around and has a gaze like an “accidental” oil spill in the SF Bay. He or she immediately zones in on the few people (usually one) they know and commence to talk only to that one person, effectively pretending that you, the stranger, does not exist.  Maybe they’re shy, but sometimes you just want to twirl them around tied upside down to the carousel swings and remind them that there are other people here too.

It Really Sorta Sucks

• Is what they mean to say. Usually they have more tact than to put whatever’s in front of them down directly, but you can tell what they’re really thinking by the long pauses and euphemisms. They put down almost everything they see unless it’s theirs. For example,

I know mine (ours) isn’t that great, but those are just…wow.

• You can tell when they get jealous, because they turn green and emit some quiet mumble about it “not being that great” or are oddly silent about something. This person is most likely found in a creative or competitive environment.

Me, Myself, and I

• Having evolved from the classic vain-o-type, he or she instead keeps the conversation on the topics that only the said person finds interesting. They talk alot to fill in your “ums” and “uh-huhs” and “yeahs,” but every conversation they have with you inevitably ends up the same topic of varying schematas. Even when the conversation isn’t concentrated on a topic of their choice, he or she will inevitably chime in about one of their experiences or how once, this thing happened to them. They ask questions about you to  fish for something about themselves that you can then inquire about them. Their hobbies. Their life. Or lack thereof.

Swine Flu is Going to Get Us All

• She’s usually older and somewhat matronly. As bad as it sounds, yes, she’s usually on the fat side. She has one boy who is her precious and her entire world and a dog who is like her daughter of another mother [species]. She talks non-stop and rarely lets others get a word in edgewise. The topic usually pertains to her son, her dog, what’s she’s heard from other people on topics that might affect her son or her dog, and various tangents related to the aforementioned subjects.
• The hot topic for such women right now is Swine Flu, and heaven forbid that little Bobby’s school might close down because of it. I mean, the U.S. is just one huge festering sore right now, and who knows what going to happen? They’re going to quarantine the, gasp, country.

Wow Is She a Female Dog

• She complains on the time about everybody but inevitably (or ironically) she cannot see that she herself is just as annoying as the people she whines about. She puts down and snaps almost out of the blue and then tries to apologize about it in a simpering manner or pull it off as a joke, but we all know she was serious when she said it. Her comments are sometimes tactless and while she’s smart, her tongue is equally smarting. When she gets home, she usually bitches some more about her day on a blog such as the one you’re reading right now.

A Real Life Example

While most (read: all) of these are actually based on an agglomerate of people actually in existence, there is one specific person that is an aggregate of many of these that just cannot get the message. Boys and girls, are you ready for a story? It’s mean one, I’m warning you. And long.

Sometimes you just need get a lot of stuff written regardless of how one day the person you write about might stumble across it and screw you over

Yep. So I came back in a foul enough mood that I dumped scoopfuls of (vanilla) ice cream into my instant coffee and typed this up. Life is good.

1. May 29th seems like a much better date to let out of school than the June 18th that my district has mandated. First, what with AP testing wrapping up halfway through, most of my classes have fulfilled the point of their existence. And the work that is handed down now reflects that. [↩]